We are often the source of our greatest limitations when it comes to moving forwards to higher levels of success. 2 key areas where this can manifest itself are in relation to our “beliefs” and also the “rules” with which we process life and the events around us.
We have built up a set of beliefs over our lifetime, some of which are helpful, many of which are not.
Unfortunately negative or self-limiting beliefs can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you have negative or self-limiting beliefs, your expectation in situations will be negative too, your behaviour will be in line with this and the outcome will more than likely be a less positive one.
But where do they come from?
These beliefs have been built up from our environment, our experiences and past outcomes. They have typically built up over a long period of time and we often respond to them unconsciously. We can almost become comfortable with them!
How to challenge these beliefs is the important factor. The key issue here is that beliefs are perceptions of reality. Negative beliefs are typically distortions.
We can choose to think differently about situations and ourselves and then act in accordance with this. This then brings about a different result and can help reinforce the new belief. Two approaches are needed here:
1. One is to challenge the evidence that you have in support of a negative or self-limiting belief. Pull it apart based on contrary evidence of your experiences and that of others.
2. Then take a more positive belief and look to build evidence in support of this. This gets you started on a more positive path and your actions will be in line with this and lead to different results.
Another area that can hinder us in moving forwards and making positive changes, is the “rules” that we have developed over time to either make us feel good or bad, based on certain situations and experiences.
How difficult have you made it to feel good about yourself and situations and how easy have you made it to feel bad?
If you look at our key values in life and business, what has to happen for you to feel this way?
For example – “Feeling Successful”
If you value “Success” what is the “rule” you have built up consciously and unconsciously over time that describes what must happen for you to feel “Successful”?
We all need a sense of stretch, but we all need to feel good about what we are doing too. Our goals give us stretch, but we can set up “rules” that make it much easier for us to feel good on a continual basis as we journey towards our goals.
If your “success rule” is solely based on big overt wins, maybe you need to see other smaller wins as successes too. For example “When I introduce a new way of generating client leads I am successful”.
We can also find that we have Rules built up over time that make it easy for us to feel bad too. Think about what has to happen for you to feel like you are losing or being fearful. How easy have you made it?
Rules are built up over time but they can be changed to support us. These rules are key to your motivation on your way to achieving your long-term Goals.